As another year adds itself onto my life, my brain has shifted into overdrive on what I should really be doing with my life. I'm a BIG dreamer but it seems that's about all I've been capable of achieving at this point. It never bothered me much... time is endless, I always thought. I'm starting to realize how wrong I might actually be.
As I start to come to these conclusions I feel myself not actually wanting to feel this way in any form. I've never been much for taking risks but I feel if I buckle down, go back to school, decide my career I feel like I might be giving up my only opportunity to start living life more 'by the seat of my pants' if you will. Then I start telling myself ' what if just giving in and actually doing the said ' buckle-downers' ... what if that's the biggest risk of all? Fully submersing myself in what may actually turn out to be my future. The fact that 'm not even 20% sure what I actually want to do is the scariest thing about all of this.
Do I do what will make me happiest? Make my life more exciting? Make me $$? Make my parents happy? My boyfriend?
I know when all is said and done, at the end of the day it's my life, my career, my choice... but really, when I think of what my life is... it's not just about me.
I know people must think I'm silly, of course it's my choice. But is it? My life oddly enough doesn't solely revolve around me.